Sweet dream, or beautiful nightmare...either way I don't wanna wake up

I'M HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!

Just not soon. I'm not pregnant or working towards it. Cease freaking out.

I've just been having all kinds of pregnancy/baby dreams in the last couple of months. I think that it means a lot of things. Pregnancy dreams usually are regarding a new phase in one's life, excitement for a new beginning. I'm not sure what "new phase" is approaching, but I assure you that I welcome it with open arms.

The other night I had a dream that I had this tiny, tiny baby girl. She had lots of long dark hair. I remember the intense and overwhelming love I had for her. I recall holding her close to me and never wanting to put her down. I remember looking at her and thinking she was the most beautiful thing ever. I remember letting other people hold her, but then always keeping my eye on her and wanting her back. No one could love her like me, and I didn't want her to love anyone more than she loved me.

It was a great feeling, that dream. On the one hand, I think it's an indicator that I will be a mom and a good one at that. But I believe that there is a deeper meaning to this dream.

I have had it rough lately. Lots of bad things and bad feelings. And dealing with 500 gallons of water is NOT FUN. But the night the pipe burst in my apartment, when I prayed, I thanked Heavenly Father that I was still alive. I told Him that I was happy to still have an apartment, even if it is water logged. I told him that I believe in the promises in my patriarchal blessings, and that I need them and want them. I felt complete peace.

And then I had that dream. I think God was trying to show me how he sees me as his daughter. He never wants to let me go, and he has this amazing love for me. Sometimes he lets me wander, but he never loses track of me. When I woke up, I was in awe. I whispered out loud, "You love me that much?" I started thinking about how much I mess up and make mistakes. But he still loves me that much.

I'm glad that I can be an example, lots of people are examples for me. I have the best friends who really and truly have my best interest at heart, even if they aren't great at showing it sometimes.

I really am a life-aholic. I appreciate all of you, some of you more than you can comprehend.

PS: I'm now officially obsessed with chicken wonton tacos from Applebees. MMMM goodness.

Love and Peace,

Lady Blog Blog