I've come to the conclusion .....that I suck at life.
Really, I'm just bad at it. I suck at it, and THAT in and of itself sucks.
People respond to this by saying "That's not true. You don't suck at life. You're great, wonderful, I love you..." blah blah.
PROVE IT.
I fail to excel at the things I'm most passion about: I want to be a lawyer, but suck at law school. I adore music, but fail as a musician. I love and adore him deeply, but he doesn't see me.
I might have a nice personality, and people might like to be around me. SO WHAT. That's nice, but inconsequential. When it comes down to things, it doesn't matter.
I could mean something to YOU, but I wish I meant something to ME AND YOU. I wish that I was good at something I put my mind to, instead of being ok at things that are afterthoughts.
And maybe it means more than I feel at the moment that people like me. It IS a skill to be liked. I just don't feel liked enough.
You can't prove that I don't suck at life, because it's true. I love hard, I work hard, I believe hard, I pray hard, I fight hard, I cry hard, I comfort hard....but in the end someone else does it better, or more, or the way that other people want. And I'm never good enough.
it's true. there's always going to be someone out there better than you at everything you try to do. f them. i LOVE you danita. YOU! not the person that might be better at Law or Music or burping their ABC's. YOU!!! you're a package. all of the things that you love make up who you are, and so what if you're not the greatest at any one particular thing? i like you the way you are. you're one of the most beautiful people i know. something you're great at is seeing the truth to things. like when i was bummed out about Clint. it took you to show me that he was Oatmeal. boring and grey and...lumpy? and that it's ok that we're not together because i'm waiting for French Toast!! delicious and exciting. i don't even talk to jessica about stuff like this because you see things for the way they are...except apparently yourself, because you don't see what i see. I see that you're an amazing, GORGEOUS, talented individual who doesn't give herself enough credit for all she's accomplished. so there.
ReplyDeleteGuess what... I almost didn't post my comment, because I said to myself, I can't write one as good as Valerie's.... :)
ReplyDeleteAnd maybe that's why no one else has posted one after hers. haha.
The funny thing is, most of us feel like this about ourselves. And maybe you won't believe me, but you are definitely one of my favorite people. There is something special about you, and I love you. The most important thing in life is people and relationships... and you my friend are awesome at them. Pretty much everything else is temporary.
Recently I realized, that I need to allow my heart to rejoice in the blessings of this day.
Don't let one day pass you by sad, when you could have been happy and enjoying it, creating memories to last a lifetime.
I love you, Danita.